Simple and effective, but according to Steve Jobs,
most people never do it.

Steve Jobs may have left this earth, but Apple’s co-founder and tech genius continues to have an impact that will transcend future generations. In an old video interview, Jobs shared a story that illustrates an uncommon trait found in the most successful people. Here’s an excerpt:

I called up Bill Hewlett [co-founder of Hewlett-Packard] when I was 12 years old. ‘Hi, I’m Steve Jobs. I’m 12 years old. I’m a student in high school. I want to build a frequency counter, and I was wondering if you have any spare parts I could have.’ He laughed, and he gave me the spare parts, and he gave me a job that summer at Hewlett-Packard … and I was in heaven.

Don’t feel bad if you missed the key to success in that story. It’s easy to miss. Luckily, Jobs spells it out in the video a bit later:

“Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask, and that’s what separates the people who do things from the people who just dream about them.”

Ask and it Shall be Given

Without that experience at HP, would Jobs have gone on to accomplish what he did? Perhaps — we’ll never know. But we know for sure that a single phone call greatly impacted his life. It taught one of the greatest entrepreneurs of this — or any — generation to be willing to ask for something he wanted.

The same can be said about workplaces where people fear asking for help. In so many businesses today, fear keeps people from being open to asking for what they want and seeking help from their peers and colleagues. According to social psychologist Heidi Grant, 75 percent to 90 percent of all help co-workers give to one another starts with making an ask.

The question is, does your environment foster the freedom and safety for employees to do this? Most people are willing to help, and according to research, 90 percent of giving in the workplace is in direct response to people asking for help. But the fact of the matter remains that most people don’t ask for what they need; it is not being reinforced by their managers and the executives above them. Therefore, unfortunately, most of the time, nothing happens.

The Giver-Requester

Sociologist Wayne Baker from the University of Michigan wrote a book called All You Have to Do Is Ask: How to Master the Most Important Skill for Success. In his research, Baker found that the “Giver-Requester” — a person who helps frequently and also asks for help frequently — is the most well-regarded and also the most productive at work.

As managers and leaders, the key is to foster an environment to liberate people to be both givers and requesters — frequently asking for help among their peers and networks and being a giver of help to those in their circle of influence.

Being a giver-requester has many career benefits as well. Baker’s research found that they:

• Are promoted more quickly and at a younger age
• Are paid better
• Are knowledgeable and trusted by their colleagues
• Are known for having great reputations

When the most successful people want something, they’re willing to ask for it. If a 12-year-old Steve Jobs could do it, so can you.

Thanks Marcel Schwantes for your Wisdom

Warren Buffett

Warren Buffett is no doubt one of the few business icons who can deliver the gift of wisdom and truth when we need it most. And those truths, when you really stop and consider them, are always spot-on.

In her biography of Buffett, “The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life,” author Alice Schroeder writes about a time when Buffett gave a presentation at The University of Georgia. The students asked him about his definition of success.

“When you’re nearing your end of life, your only measure of success should be the number of “people you want to have love you actually do love you,” he answered.

I know people who have a lot of money, and they get testimonial dinners and they get hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them,” said Buffett. “If you get to my age in life and nobody thinks well of you, I don’t care how big your bank account is, your life is a disaster.”

That’s right, a self-made billionaire says that the amount you are loved — not your wealth or accomplishments — is the ultimate measure of success in life.

To give and receive

Love is one of the most powerful emotions a human being can feel, and yet, we still live in an individualistic society of keeping up with the Joneses: We forge ahead with our business ventures and strategically plan our career paths in hopes of finding fame and fortune. We feel we’ve finally arrived at the top when we’re able to vacation twice a year to exotic islands and drop a European luxury car (or two) in the garage. We dream about having all of these things, love be damned.

“The problem with love is that it’s not for sale,” Buffett told the students. “The only way to get love is to be lovable. It’s very irritating if you have a lot of money. You’d like to think you could write a check: I’ll buy a million dollars’ worth of love. But it doesn’t work that way. The more you give love away, the more you get.”

So how can we follow Buffett’s principle of success in a way where we can truly leave behind a legacy? The path of putting love into motion is a daring and courageous one, but here are a few ways to do it:

1. Be selfless and don’t expect anything in return

The laws of love are reciprocal. When we choose to love someone unconditionally by encouraging and believing in them, love comes back in full force through respect, admiration, trust and loyalty.

What’s more, when we receive those things, we become more self-compassionate. A 2011 study conducted by the University of California found that self-compassion can increase motivation, willpower and the ability to recover from failure. Another study, published in 2007 in the Journal of Research in Personality, concluded that people who have self-compassion are more likely to be happy, optimistic and show personal initiative.

2. Be empathetic

Empathy is one of most common traits of likable (or, as Buffett prefers to say, “lovable”) people. True empathy occurs when you’re able to step into someone else’s shoes and see their perspective.

Empathy also plays a major role in a person’s potential to influence others. In a DDI study of more than 15,000 leaders across 20 industries, researchers found that the ability to listen and respond with empathy was the most critical driver of a team’s overall performance.

3. Make work enjoyable and fun

When you enjoy work, you enjoy life. In Carol J. Loomis’ biography of Buffett, “Tap Dancing to Work: Warren Buffett on Practically Everything,” she mentions a quote from Buffett: “I love every day. I mean, I tap dance in here and work with nothing but people I like. There is no job in the world that is more fun than running Berkshire, and I count myself lucky to be where I am.”

The evidence here is clear: In positive and uplifting cultures where people share the same values, beliefs and norms, you’ll find a high-performing group of people who attract folks of the same kind.

4. Treat others the way THEY want to be treated

As children, we’re often taught the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you want to be treated.” But the Platinum Rule takes it to a whole new level: “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”

When we follow the Platinum Rule, we can be more certain that we’re respecting what they want, instead of projecting our own values and preferences. That doesn’t mean we should ignore the Golden Rule altogether, but we should realize its limitations given that every person and every situation is so different.

5. Follow your passion

If you want to have your dream career, you must follow your passion. It’s that simple. Many of us take our cushy paychecks and job security for granted, even though we might hate our jobs and would rather be doing something else — something we actually love.

As humans, doing what we love is a major contributor to true happiness in life. So if you don’t know what your passion is, it’s time to figure that out.

 Thanks for your Wisdom Marcel Schwantes